Been there, done that. It's like Dory says! "Just keep swimming." tu can't go back so there's no point in dwelling on wishes and impossibilities. tu deal with the crap, tu build a support system, tu mover the fuck on with your life. tu normally end up coming out of hardships stronger and wiser, which is better than before, yeah?
My best friend is struggling with the same problem ... A few years back, she did some things she regrets, and it changed her for the worst. It's sad because, we've been friends since grade school, and tu can hear the regret in her voice, and it's truly heartbreaking.. If tu really feel that way, I'm going to tell tu what I exactly what i tell her, " You've been through alot, and the fact tu came out sane itself is impressive. I am sure there are things tu regret doing, things tu wanna take back, but if tu keep looking back on those bad times, tu can never focus on your present, and your future. Everyone has done things they regret doing...even I feel that way sometimes, but tu need to keep strong, and don't let your emotions weigh tu down. Never give up." I really hope this helps..sorry if I sound super depressing...
ok if it changes u for the worst i think u should start fresh. think about some things u loved to do when u liked how u were. find some things that make u happy. if u went threw a whole año of bad stuff then whatever u think started it fix. oviously u cant fix whats already broken but u can fix what has a crack. change ur self for the better. make better chioces and get rid of things that put u down and gave stress to make u were u r now. nobody can go back but we can help r sevles to have a good life ahead of us.
First, tu pretend like everything is fine while you're dying inside. Might actually try dying. Next, tu yell and curse about all the crap. Then, tu act like you're fine while still thinking about all the crap. Next, tu yell and curse about all the crap tu forgot about the last time. Then, Act like you're fine once again. Next, tu actually hurt someone else for all the crap tu dicho to them. Finally, tu realize none of it was worth it, nothing could be changed about it, and tu mover on from it. Still think about it, but it doesn't destroy tu anymore.
Point is, it just takes time. I'm sure whatever you're going through will eventually teach tu something. If tu went back and never went through it, tu wouldn't have the knowledge about life that tu have now.