Pretty Little Liars S5.09 Review – March of Crimes « 

Pretty Little Liars S5.09 Review – March of Crimes

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Pretty Little Liars S5.09 Review – ‘March of Crimes

nears its summer finale, things are starting to come together, but it’s definitely moving at a slow march instead of sprinting to the finish line. With strong, dynamic female characters it’s rare when a guy steals the show, but if it weren’t for Caleb and Noel, this episode would have fallen flat.

While at the eye doctor, with her pupils dilated, Spencer spies two Jennas and calls in Emily. They try to confront Sydney and Jenna about their relationship, but Jenna isn’t sure Sydney has the story straight yet, so they take off.

Later, Syd tries to explain that she used to volunteer at the school for the blind and had to put the girl back together after Ali visited that one time. Emily’s not buying it, and if she’d lay off the snark and defense of Ali, I’d be cheering her on. Let’s try to remember that Jenna is blind because of a prank Ali played, Emily. A prank you stood by and watched. Sydney may deserve your disdain for lying and insulating herself in your life, but tone down the Jenna hate, okay?

Still, I’m so grateful that they pushed this forward. I was worried the Liars wouldn’t find out about the Jenna/Sydney connection until the finale so it’s really a wash.

Tanner shows up at school and interviews Aria with her mother there! It’s like someone gave her the police procedural manual. Ella’s got a lot on her mind and instead of shutting down questioning and calling Veronica Hastings, she lets Aria answer.

Aria’s defensive when Tanner suggest maybe Ezra’s dated more high school students than just Aria and worried about him after her interview. For all Aria’s anger, it’s not like Tanner’s completely wrong. Ezra has dated other students, maybe not Shana, but he did date Alison. Maybe he’s not trolling the hall for dates, but he certainly has been obsessed with teenage girls.

Emily and Spencer take matters into their own hands to try to find out what Noel’s up to. Why would he just break into the Marin house because Ali says so? Emily breaks into Noel’s car and finds pictures of Alison that prove that she wasn’t kidnapped. His pictures also prove the Liars have been covering for Ali so Spencer decides to hide them in the best secret place ever, that no one will ever guess, aka her lake house.

I’m glad they aren’t trusting Ali with this, but they really could use her ability to hide things in plain sight.

Noel’s waiting for Spencer, all creepy like under a sheet, and demands the photos back. Spencer is armed with the defense weapon of rich girls everywhere, a fireplace poker, and wants answers. Noel admits that Ali tends to throw people to the wolves when she’s done with them and he has the photos for insurance he doesn’t get tossed.

Spencer is as smart as her reputation and she isn’t giving up the photos. He tries to take them from her and she swats him with the fire poker. Guess he didn’t remember Emily’s season one warning that when a Hastings has a shot, she takes the shot. Spencer promises that she’ll keep the photos safe because after all the Liars need insurance too.

Hope Ali heard Jenna when she said that it was Alison’s actions that turned Shana against her, nothing Jenna said or did. With the Liars and Noel watching their backs, she may be losing more allies than she can afford.

She may not be a great marriage counselor (RIP Hastings marriage), but Spencer can get a high school relationship on track.

With Hanna continuing to spiral afterschool style, Spencer heads over the Caleb’s house and reads him the riot act. Caleb gets all “you don’t know what happened to me in Ravenswood” and Spencer’s more polite than I when she holds back the “I don’t care!” Instead Spencer says that she always thought Caleb was the best thing that happened to Hanna and that she’s sad they aren’t drawing strength from each other.

Straight talk fom Spencer is enough to get Caleb to put down the beer bottle and start asking Hanna some questions. When Hanna tells him they are skipping Ella’s engagement because Zack’s a sleaze, he earns best boyfriend points when he confronts Zack, doesn’t believe the note Zack produces from “Hanna” and punches the creep out.

Caleb and Hanna worry that ‘A’ left Zack the note that could lead him to believe his future stepdaughter’s underage friend was interested in him, but I don’t care. One, Zack could have written that letter to cover the situation up when he found out Hanna wasn’t coming. Two, even if ‘A’ sent it, Zack didn’t have to act on it. Three, Caleb has the note now, so who even cares!

It was great to see that Caleb is returning to his great boyfriend self. He can be dark and tortured and still great to Hanna.

After Aria continues to be a total bitch to Hanna at school, she asks Ella if she knows Zack well enough to marry him. Ella worries that Zack hit on Aria and she has to admit that he hit on Hanna.

Ella says that she closed her eyes to a situation in Europe and well, at least now I know where Aria gets excusing away bad boyfriend behavior. Though, maybe it’s just a slip with Ella. She did kick Aria’s dad to the curb when he cheated.

Oh wait, he’s consoling her and they’re hugging. I like them together, but couldn’t this have happened off screen. Aria could have told us later.

Instead she shows up to apologize to Hanna and it’s not enough for me. Hanna asks why Aria didn’t believe her and Aria says some nonsense about it not being about not believing Hanna, she just wanted to believe her mom could find love again.

I can’t with this apology. Even when Hanna tries to give Zack an out, that maybe ‘A’ wrote that note and fanned the fire, and Aria says it doesn’t matter because Zack took the bait, I just can’t.

At least Hanna was dumping out the booze when Aria came over. Ashley Marin will sleep better knowing her daughter isn’t guzzling from a flask anymore and that Ali’s kidnapper has been caught.

Speaking of that, it’s clear that Ali has no idea who this guy is, so hopefully there’s some movement next week. We’re just two episodes away from the summer finale and the heat on ‘March of Crimes’ was definitely on low.

What do you think Ali has on Noel? Did Caleb earn back his best boyfriend status? Head over to the forum and let us know what you think!

By Jenni Tetzlaff on August 5, 2014   /   Reviews   /   Leave a comment

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