posted by windwakerguy430
So the fanfic IMMEDIATELY starts with a poni, pony named Kyle asking his brother, Gold… Just Gold, arguing about getting beer. Even though they are both twenty, they still argue that it is illegal to drink at this age. With this knowledge in mind, I can see that this fanfic was written por an American. Now, I’m not saying that stuff written on the internet por an American sucks…… But- Anyway, this alcohol bitching must be saved for another day, as they are greeted por some mare in a suit with a little kid siguiente to him. So the mare tells the two that this kid is their brother and that the mare is from social services, and that the parents can not support this child properly, so he is brought to Kyle and oro to be parented por them. The two then fuck off back into the house and argue… again. Are they a gay couple, because they perra to each other like a married couple. They both decide to ask the kid questions, because after not hearing of this kid for two years, he is most likely two, so naturally, this kid is perfectly able to answer questions.
So, naturally, the mare just happens to give the kid to these two alcoholics who are incapable of watching themselves, and just argue all day. Honestly, I would rather trust this child in the hands of a homeless crack addict. Once they are done, the mare lets them know that the potro, colt is an alicorn. No, NO! tu FUCKING DIDN’T! tu SERIOUSLY FUCKING DIDN’T! I can handle the fact that tu want to make an OC. That is fine. But once tu make an alicorn OC, you’ve fucked up más than anyone alive. All alicorn OC’s are made for is to be some perfect snoddy Mary Sue asshole that no one can tolerate. And no doubt, this one will be no different. Let's see if I can hate him por the end of this fanfic.
So, the mare gives oro a note and then she just disappears from reality. oro reads the note, which describes that the alicorn- (Still fucking stupid)- is named Tommy. The most creative name for and MLP OC. As it turns out, Tommy is an alicorn- (Fucking stupid)- is because she slept with a Pegasus and her husband left her. As well he should. What the fuck made tu want to cheat on him? Where’s his side of the story. But if it was just “You were hungry for pegasus dick”, then I really can’t feel bad for you. So, she mentions some bullshit about how she is worried about Tommy and how he needs the guidance of his asshole brothers like their Yoda o some shit. She also says that the Pegasus broke his neck por being a dumbass and can’t watch the kid, and she is in rehab, so she can’t watch him. Unless tu add some sort of reason why this happened, I really can’t feel bad for her, and I don’t.
So after that, they ask Tommy how old he is, which he is nine. What kind of fucked up growth spurt does this kid have to where he becomes nine in only two years. He also conveniently mentions that he is Applebloom’s age, probably going to make some bullshit romance that will make me want to vomit a lung. But instead, no, While in Manehattan, Tommy ran a gang… At the fucking age of nine, I should remind you. He also dicho that he once beat up Babs Seed for some fucked reason. And that he doesn’t like the Cutie Mark Crusaders, despite the fact that he doesn’t know him, and that he can’t even pronounce their name, and that he is obviously against both sides. I knew it, I do hate this little Alicorn shit. After which, he wants to go and be an asshole to the CMC, to which oro tries to stop them, because they are friends, and then Tommy gets all pissed and shouts how he isn’t his dad, and proceeds to fuck off, with Kyle describing how that escalated quickly. Yeah, it did. Too fucking quickly. All of this shit happened in one paragraph. tu need to mostrar how the characters change over time, not all in once. I’m glad this fanfic cna notice it’s own problems in a matter of seconds…… Fuck you.
So, Kyle, being the irresponsible douche that he is, tries to talk to Tommy, who plans on leaving. He then does the usual irresponsible thing, por telling Tommy not to go to school tomorrow. And then there’s that whole “Oh, we amor you. Don’t go” shit tu see in every crappy drama. And so, they sat there happily, watching the sunset. And oro went and fucked himself, because as this fanfic states, if you’re being responsible, you’re an asshole… Okay, that didn’t happen in the fanfic, but that’s basically what it’s trying to say.
Now, for a fanfic that dicho there was gore, it badly lacked it, and I am okay with that. The fanfic still sucked though. What with being terribly paced, and poorly written, what with all of it’s characters either being uninteresting, unlikeable, o just…. there, this fanfic really has nothing going for it. Also, to leave tu all off with one más little thing in the fanfic, the autor says how he doesn’t want any sexal comments, as he thinks it is annoying, despite his fanfic being incredibly obnoxious. Nothing against him…. but tu did make a real bad fanfic. But, hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take.