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posted by Seanthehedgehog
The Story of Corporal Agarn

Theme song

Though he goes on a rage from time to time
He is a very good friend of mine
And in Fort Courage he is well known as
Corporal Agarn

Starring Master Sword as Corporal Agarn
Tom Foolery as Captain Parmenter
Saten Twist as Sargent O' Rourke
Mortomis as Dobbs, the bugler
Snow Wonder as Wrangler Jane
Double Scoop as Corporal Aldin
Blaze as Corporal Duffy
Sean as Chief Wild Eagle
and Sonic as Crazy Cat

Previously

Corporal Agarn: *With Sargent O' Rourke* Wait, there's ten Comanches, and two of us. Shouldn't we have brought reinforcements with us?
Sargent O' Rourke: We're going to sneak past them. That can't be accomplished if we have más ponies with us.
Corporal Agarn: How do we sneak past them?
Sargent O' Rourke: I'll think of something.

---

Crazy Cat: This is great. We will have four diamonds, and we will be extremely rich.
Wild Eagle: I still feel bad about lying to Agarn, and O' Rourke.
Crazy Cat: They're soldiers. They can defend themselves.
Wild Eagle: Against the Comanches? They're animals. Even a real animal can see that!
Audience: *Laughing*

---

Wild Eagle: I sent them to find two diamonds, in a cave, protected por Comanche Indians.
Captain Parmenter: por theirselves?!
Crazy Cat: They'll be alright captain.
Captain Parmenter: I know O' Rourke is good negotiating with Indians, but he's with Agarn.
Audience: *Laughing*
Wild Eagle: So?
Captain Parmenter: tu clearly don't know Agarn as well as I do.
Audience: *Laughing*

Part 3

Sargent O' Rourke: I think I thought of something.
Corporal Agarn: I hope so, because we've been here for two hours.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: We need to distract them.
Corporal Agarn: I know that, but how?
Sargent O' Rourke: tu run pass them, they follow you, then I go in to get the diamonds.
Corporal Agarn: Why do I have to be chased?!
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: You're a fast runner. Now go.
Captain Parmenter: *Arrives* Don't go.
Corporal Agarn: Sargent, please make up your mind.
Audience: *Laughing*
Sargent O' Rourke: I didn't say that. *Points behind him* He did.
Captain Parmenter: Wild Eagle told me that tu were going to get some diamonds, and I came here with the others to help tu out.
Corporal Agarn: *Looks behind him* I can see tu brought the others, but where's Vanderbilt?
Captain Parmenter: Unfortunately he fell off a cliff. Vanderbilt thought it was a lake full of water for himself, and his human.
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Agarn: Well as long as he didn't hurt my human, I'm okay with it.
Corporal Dobbs: So what's the plan to take those diamonds?
Corporal Duffy: When I was in the Alamo, we didn't need plans. We needed guts. We would charge out there, and give them what for.
Corporal Agarn: Were not in the Alamo, and those guys are scary!
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: They're just Indians. Like Wild Eagle, and Crazy Cat.
Corporal Agarn: Don't say their names, you're going to make me think that I'll kill them!
Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Dobbs: I got an idea. tu hate my bugle, so if I play it for them, they might hate it and run off.
Sargent O' Rourke: Good idea. Everyone cover your ears.

All of the soldiers covered their ears before Dobbs played his bugle.

Audience: *Laughing*
Corporal Dobbs: *Playing his bugle*
Indians: *Hear the bugle, and listen*
Indian 3: Where is that coming from?
Indian 4: Over the hill.
Indian 6: It sounds wonderful. Let's get closer.
Audience: *Laughing*

They walked toward the soldiers

Captain Parmenter: They're leaving the cave.
Corporal Agarn: And heading for us.
Captain Parmenter: Let's get out of here!!

They got away from the Indians.

Wild Eagle: No no no, tu gotta put the stones around the sticks, then tu start the fire.
Crazy Cat: Does it really matter?
Wild Eagle: Do tu want everything to burn, and destroy us?
Audience: *Laughing*
Captain Parmenter: *Arrives with the rest of his soldiers* Wild Eagle, we couldn't get those diamonds for you.
Corporal Dobbs: What do tu need them for anyway?
Wild Eagle: Payment for weapons, and ammo.
Captain Parmenter: But we're already getting that tomorrow.
Sargent O' Rourke: We just had to get our hooves on some extra ammo Captain.
Captain Parmenter: Now Sargent, this is completely unnecessary. We're already getting the ammo we need, and we don't have to pay them anything. *Looks behind Crazy Cat* What's this? *Finds the diamonds*
Wild Eagle: Uh oh!
Sargent O' Rourke: tu already have the diamonds.
Crazy Cat: Yes..
Captain Parmenter: That was a very mean trick tu played on my soldiers. If I wasn't clumsy, o stupid, I'd arrest tu two.
Audience: *Laughing*
Wild Eagle: We're sorry Captain.
Captain Parmenter: I should think so.
Corporal Agarn: Why would tu do this to us chief?
Wild Eagle: Look on the bright side. We got to appear in three episodes in a row.
Audience: *Laughing*
Ponies: *Singing* Though he goes on a rage from time to time, he is a very good friend of mine. And in Fort Courage he is well known as, Corporal Agarn.
Dobbs: *Playing the bugle poorly*
Corporal Agarn: I'm warning tu Dobbs!
Audience: *Laughing*

Part 6 will arrive soon.
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(To the tune of heart-shaped box por Nirvana)

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