Edward is in your forest

A/N: I just thought it would be an interesting subject, tu know? And before tu do anything, just to let tu know, I FAIL at characterisation. So don't go all batshit on me if I get Hermione o anyone else wrong, 'kay?

Today, on the 17th of October, the court session for the famous "Meyer Case" was initiated. Stephenie Meyer, founder of Twilight, inc., the billion-dollar advertising company, was arrested on several charges, including: allegations of fraud charged por worldwide companies Feminism, inc., 3D pwns 2D, and Literature n Books; the murder of various brain cells; abuse and rape of thesarus,...

Fanfiction:

edward-bella vs harry-ginny

Edward and bella go to a railway station during one rainy día in london. They meet harry and ginny there,

( bella is not changed into a vampire yet )

Edward: bella love, close your eyes please!

Bella: why edward?

(thinks to himself)

Edward : just yesterday I had promised her that she was the prettiest one I have ever seen, but here here is ginny who looks so pretty.
And bella should better stay away from harry, o she will ditch me like jake..

( meanwhile harry is using legilimence when edward is busy thinking )

Harry: well, why am I going to eye a crackpot...

There once was this girl named Bri, who had a best friend (for this article, we'll call her Z). Bri and Z had identical taste in books. So, when Z gave Bri Twilight for navidad and told her how “great” it was and kept going on and on. She tried to convince Bri that it was better than Harry Potter (the book Bri had been obsessed with since she was nine) but Bri didn't believe that at all. Still, if Z liked it, then Bri knew she would like it. She had no hesitation when she cracked the binding. She was hooked.

Now, this was before Twilight grew to be psychotically massive, so when Bri came...

It's pretty obvious from just my nombre de usuario that I am a 'Twilighter',but I will try not to be biast in this article. So, lets compare the two...

Which made más money?

♥ The movie 'Twilight' made $69,637,740 in the USA and £2,508,422 in the UK, in its opening weekend. 'Harry Potter and the sorcerers stone/philosphers stone' made $90,294,621 in the USA and £16,335,627 in the UK, in its opening weekend.

♥ 'New Moon' in its opening weekend made $142,839,137 in the USA and £11,683,158 in the UK, whereas 'Harry Potter and the Chamber of secrets' made $88,357,488 in the USA and £18,871,829 in...

I have researched the following and well, I am not really surprised about the results. But I still ask some questions.

Why is Twilight más "popular" when HP sold más than 400 million while Twilight only sold 53 million? Also, Twilight is just 45% in the tomate meter while HP is 83% in the tomate meter? Third, Twilight sold about $191,449,475 while HP sold about $283,879,025? Another is Twilight is never shown in Kid's almanacs (the World and Time yearly almanacs) while HP is seen may times over. Twilight fans, don't tu see, HP is better even of tu turn the world upside down o inside out!...

These are the weirdest, saddest Twilight defenses on the planet. *NOTE: I have nothing against reasonable Twilight fans, but ones like this? *facepalm*

Tiwlite deost scuk jew bichezz!!!!!1!!” twilite iz da beste buck i hav evar red in mi lief!!!! so wat if inot have red so maney bks in my lief!! i actualey hav ay lieff and bukks hapen to b four peeple wizout eny frends!!!!!!!1111 sou dant juzt PRUVVEZ hou gud twilit iz!!!!!!!!! adn anuzer ding i am sexteen not twelve adn i reeli LUVE TWAILITE wish usst PRUVVEZ it iz four mature, enteliggent peepolnot like hary poter dat is juzt four lusers...

There once was a young adult woman named Astrid. One día in Spring 2008, her good friend, Rhonda visited her. She told Astrid about this book series called Twilight, Rhonda dicho that she read the libros and that they were really good. Astrid then went to Borders and bought the three books. When she got home, she opened up the first book and started to read away. Astrid then decided that she liked it too. A día later, she read New Moon, only this time, Astrid didn't like it as much as Twilight. Wishing to continue lectura after the slight disliking, she read Eclipse hoping it would be better...

lets say that bella and hermione were off friends (really off). Hermione is at hogwarts where she is happy and bella is at forks with her vamp buddies where she is happy. And they know each other's secrets. One day, Hermione wrote bella a letter.

Dear Bella Swan,

I have heard about your acts in Forks and how your boyfriend, edward broke up with you. I feel really sorry for you. Then tu found him again in Volterra, Italy and tu started going out with him again. My opinion might not matter in this but I feel as if I should tell tu about this. I am afraid that tu might be a little bit obssessive....