Summary: What If Kurt wasn't gay? What if Rachel liked girls? In this story two friends search to find themselves and who they really are. Rachel falls in love with her best friend Kurt, whom is supposed to be gay, in this tragic love story Two best friends find love they thought they would never experience.
Rachel had been staring at Kurt from the back of the choir room, as she usually did. She didn't know why she was so drawn to her best friend, it just happened she tried staring at the girl she was supposed to be in love with trying to think of ways to break up with her, Rachel couldn't do it. She sighed her heart feeling like it weighed a ton as she got up leaving the rehearsals for Nationals "Mr. Schuester, I-I-I have to go" the teacher gave her a questioning look and then nodded his head for her dismissal.
As she left she heard Kurt try to speak up and run out to ask her what in tarnation was she doing, she stopped for a second trying to make up her mind, should she stay or she could go. She walked the hallways of William McKinley High School hearing the teachers drone on and on about an upcoming test review and demanding for a foolish teenager to pay attention to him/her, as she heard footsteps behind her she turned around "Kurt why aren't you in rehearsals?" she asks putting her arms across her chest. he responded flicking a piece of lint off his sweater "I could ask you the same thing" he paused looking at her "Why aren't you in the Glee Club? I've been watching you Rach, and you've been distant lately and that's not like you" he watches her bite the inside of her cheek. She found a spot over his head to look at as she finally spilled.
"Kurt, you probably will think I'm Crazy for thinking this but I have these feelings for you, that I've had for a while and I don't know what to do about them because you're gay and I'm with Santana now. Please say something before I go crazy" she stutters at the end, finally looking at him in the eyes she never noticed how bright his green eyes were until now. Kurt stood with his mouth gaping open at last closing it "Rachel, I've been daydreaming that you would say that since Freshman year, I've liked you since I first met you but I was so scared you would hurt me and reject me. I know a lot of people think I'm gay but I made out with Brittany before so technically I'm not gay like others assume." he says, his words spilling out like a Volcano about to erupt.
Rachel couldn't believe her ears, disbelief full in her eyes "W-w-wait are you serious?" he nodded his his head as she tried puzzling it all together. She moved closer to him so they were nose to nose "Would you stop me if I kissed you right now?" she asks softly. Kurt couldn't believe this was happening, he felt something inside of him snap "Why would I ever do that?" Rachel put her arms around him kissing him softly.
Rachel bit back a gasp as the boy kissed her back, more confused then ever she pulled back her cheeks flaming red. "What are we doing?" she says more to herself then to him, she looked at him his lips puffy from where she kissed them a few minutes ago. "You do realize we can't keep doing this? I'm with Santana and you're with Blaine." she points out sliding down to the floor, her back pressing against the locker as she ran a finger across her lips.
Kurt looked at the brunette collapsed on the floor , looking at her in such distress he felt bad for though he kissed her back knowing what would happen "You can't deny the feelings though Rachel, I know you felt the same power as I did when we kissed, you can't just pretend like nothing happened!" he raised his voice not caring if the whole school heard, they only had a few days left in this shit hole of a town before they graduated and moved to NYC. He ran a finger through his professional done hair messing it up "I don't want to lose you as a friend Rachel, we've been through too much to throw it away just because we have feelings for each other and society won't let us be who we are" he says also sliding down on the opposite side of the side of her, against the lockers.
Rachel sighed loudly "Kurt, why would you ever suggest a thing like that? we're best friends! It's just I never thought this would happen ya know?" she paused to regain her thoughts, currently all she could think about was her lips on him and him kissing back. "Everything was going fine until I felt like if I didn't tell you sooner or later before graduation I was going to crazy" she laughs bitterly picking at a hole in her jeans with her nails "Everything has changed so soon and I don't know what to do, I like you I honestly do, there is no one I would rather be with but you. You know more about me then I even know my damn self and that's scary to know but Kurt, we can't do anything more I'm in Love with Santana and as she is with me. I can't break someones hard" she seemed so lost in her own thoughts.
Kurt nodded his head "Rachel, you don't think I've been noticing these changes? Sometimes I catch you looking at me when I'm looking at you the others have too" he finally admits what he's been thinking about. He looked down gulping down the big knot in his throat "I Love You Rachel and I don't think I can keep pretending that I don't have feelings for you, because it's killing me every time I look at you" he paused wiping away a tear that escaped his eyes "Every time you are sad, I want to be the one that wipes your tears away and hold you, but I can't because I have to hide everything " he gets up "I'm sick of pretending that everything is okay, I can't" he says pausing to let it sink in. He knew he was being rational about this situation but he loved Rachel more then he loved himself and it was weird to experience these feelings towards his Best Friend, considering he is supposed to be gay which everyone surely would rage quit on the floor if he wasn't otherwise. The world tilted for a second, the clocks in the classroom ticking loudly, his heartbeat thumping louder then usual in his chest, he felt the Icy-cold sweat on his back. He was being watched, he turned around Rachel still on the floor but her head between her knees her body shaking as she was crying, he hated seeing her that way but he couldn't go and kiss her tears away although he was so tempted to, he took a small step going to when the bell rang for lunch, the students filling the once empty hallway blocking the view of Rachel.
Rachel heard voices feet stomping around her, she couldn't breath. Everything happened so fast she knew Kurt was staring at her but couldn't dare herself to look up even if she wanted to she didn't have the strength to see the only person that ever cared for her look so hurt and betrayed. She heard Mr. Scheuster's voice fill the air as he bent down to ask if she was okay, the snot rolling down in her nose she knew she probably looked deranged and at the brink of insanity. All Rachel knew was she had to tell Santana everything that happened, as far as she was concerned she knew the Latina would go all Lima Heights on someone if by anyway tried touching her or none the less kiss her, but if Santana found out that she kissed him would she still go off on Kurt? she rubbed her palms across her eyes elbowing the locker she was leaning against. Nothing good is going to come out of this.
Rachel got up wiping the snot from her running nose on her sleeve, looking around the familiar halls she felt as if they weren't home to her anymore as they once were all the years. She paused at her locker opening the door and seeing Kurt and Her with their arms wrapped around each-others shoulders, their smiles wide like there wasn't anything that could change it. If only she knew then what would happen now she wouldn't have kissed him, maybe things wouldn't be so chaotic she closed the locker door wrapping her arms around herself her face scrunching up as she started to cry again. Her knees going out on her, leaving her on the ground once more, her eyes rolling in the back of her head.
Kurt ran for the brunette whom fell on the floor calling out her name, "Rachel! Rachel! Can you hear me?!" he shook her trying to get a grunt or a peep from her. He looked around finding the hallways deserted except for them two again, he ran a finger through his tousled hair, putting his arms underneath her knees picking her up "It's okay, I got you Rachel I'm not going to let anybody hurt you" he whispered in her ear looking around the school he kicked open the nurses office door shouting out "Rachel Berry is the name she passed out in the hallway can you please help her?" he asks the nurse that was rushing around the room to grab the unconscious girl in his arms onto a table. He knew whenever she was stressed she had a tendency to pass out but he didn't know she was that stressed.
Rachel heard her name being called out many times by Kurt but she couldn't get her eyes open they felt like they weighed a ton. She fluttered her eyelashes trying to see where she was but all she saw was a bright light, she opened up her lips letting out a sigh "Kurt?" she says through dry lips. She never had a panic attack this bad before, she tried opening her eyes again, finally able to see little blobs.
Kurt had been sitting in a seat in the nurses office when he heard the brunette call for him, he jumped up relief clear in his voice "Rachel, god I was so worried about you I thought something bad happened and I was to blame," he paused regaining his composure "You hit the floor pretty hard the nurse says a minor concussion a bruise on your elbow when you fell " he moved forward to hug her and wrap his arms around her like they use to but he quickly remembered that he no longer could do that without wanting to kiss her. "I'm so glad that you're okay" he says moving back to where he was sitting earlier.
Rachel blinked a few times, her mouth parched from having nothing to eat or drink, the past few hours in the Nurses office really made her dehydrated, after taking a peak around the room she noticed her best friend Kurt in the room, seeing the boy she could sense the fear that he was feeling and the self doubt, actually made her turned on, which wasn't supposed to because things weren't supposed to happen between them. But that made her only want him even more "Kurt come here" she beckons for him to sit next to her on the bed, when he positioned himself next to her she put her arm on his leg, rubbing little circles on his thigh she stared at him her mouth forming a smirk "I am really glad you were there to save me, I don't know what I would do or where I would be if you weren't" she moved her hands higher feeling him get tensed up. Rachel turned her head making sure they were alone, she tilted her head so that their lips touched.
Kurt had felt his heartbeat in his throat when she started touching him, wondering what is causing her to do this, was it his imagination or was she actully doing the one thing she said would never happen? Only when she started to kiss him, did he feel like it was the shot the nurse gave her kicking in, he pulled back "Rachel we can't do this" he regretted saying it, but he knew this wasn't her it was the drugs the nurse gave her for the minor concussion. She then responded with planting kisses down his neck "Rachel" he says biting the inside of his cheek, as he pushed her back.
Rachel didn't really know what she was thinking, she just knew she wanted him. After three years of watching him and dying day by day, she had to do this. "Nobody is going to catch us Kurt, just come on please" she begged him, going in his lap. "I know you want me as much as I want you" she paused to peck his lips "I want you Kurt, right now, right here" she says as she pulls on the bottom hem of her shirt over her head, throwing it across the room left wearing a lacy black bra and a pencil skirt "I can show you a good time " she says in a seductive voice, playing with her bra it slipping off her boobs.
Santana heard from the glee club teacher that her girlfriend had a nervous breakdown and fallen to the floor unconsious, the brunnetes friend had taken her to the Nurses Office, she jogged down the hallway making her way to the office asking the nurse where the student would be. The Latinas eyes scoped the room finally seeing a door that was left ajar, she heard soft whispers and opened the door not expecting the sight she let out a gasp noting that her girlfriends clothes were strewn across the room "Rachel? Kurt? What the actual hell?" she screeches moving closer to them, feeling hurt and betrayed.
Rachel had pulled away from Kurt, the look of a deer stuck in a headlights on her face. "Santana, what are you doing here?" she asks her face turning beat red as she felt her girlfriend look her up and down, she knew what she and Kurt almost did was possibly the worst thing she could do, but it felt so right. Now she was stuck with the consequences of her stupidness and horniest, the brunette walked over to her clothes that were in a heep on the floor, pulling on her shirt over her head in shame.
"I was looking for my Girlfriend who passed out in the hallways, I heard her Best friend took her to the Nurse's office" the latina crossed her arms across her chest not believing this situation was actually happening right in front of her eyes. Kurt was gay, he liked boys everyone believed he was gay. There was this one time during Freshman year that Mercedes Jones fell for him and Kurt used the excuse he was in love with Rachel to cover up the fact that he was gay, now she wondered if maybe he was telling the truth after all.
Kurt gulped running a hand through his hair, Was this really happening? he asked himself, just a couple minutes ago he would have laughed in someones face if they said that this would happen with Rachel Berry. Just when things were getting good her girlfriend caught them almost going all the way in the nurses office, and he was now going to have to lie to Santana that it was probably the girls medicine that the nurse gave her. "Santana, please calm down. Nothing was going to happen, I wouldn't let it if it did, I'm gay and Rachel's in love with you" he says also trying to convince himself.
Rachel blinked her eyes a couple times finally taking in what was happening in front of her, "Holy shit what just happened" she asks mostly to herself looking at her best friend cover up yet another lie, and her girlfriend looking hurt and betrayed and then looking down at her hands in her lap, wanting nothing then to run and hide. "Santana, I can explain it's not what it looks like" Rachel says getting closer to her girlfriend.
"I know exactly what it looks like Rach, you were about to go all the way in the fucking clinic with someone whose Gay whom is your best friend!" she all but yelled the last part. Santana felt her hands shake against her sides wanting to do what she did best by going Lima Heights on someone. "I Love you Rachel, probably more then I should, but I can't do this anymore. I know you love him more then a friend when I'm staring at you, you're staring at him" the latina wiped a tear that escaped her eyes furiously. "I just never thought you would do this to me, I trusted you and this is how you repay me?!" she all but yelled.
Kurt got up from the bed, "Santana, nothing was going to happen, I would've have stopped it. I'm going to repeat this for you again, I'm gay. I like boys" he mentally kicked himself as he knew he was lying, he liked Rachel more then a friend but was too afraid to come out to everyone that a matter of fact that he wasn't actually gay, but Bisexual.
"Please don't do this Santana, it was an mistake, I wasn't going to do anything with him" she lies stuttering at the end of her sentence, she couldn't believe this was actually happening just earlier she was wishing it did but now she wanted to run and hide away from the rest of the world in utter shame, "I Love You, please don't leave me please" she begs, noticing that the Latina was shaking either in tears or anger.
Santana went up to Kurt, her eyes filled with tears her hands shaking at her sides, she didn't want to do this but she couldn't take it anymore, she thought that she could trust him only for him to betray her like that. The Brunnete raised her hand slapping him against the right side of his cheek, she walked away rubbing her hand muttering to herself "I can't believe this is happening" a couple years ago she wouldn't be even in this situation considering that two years ago she wasn't a lesbian and was hiding in the closet.
When Rachel heard the slap her mouth flew open, how could Santana do that to Kurt? he didn't do anything she was the one that was half naked when the latina found them in the room. Rachel rushed to Kurt's side touching the giant red mark that was on his cheek "Kurt I'm so sorry, is there anything I could do?" the brunette asked putting her arms around his neck pulling him closer to her.
After Santana had slapped him he was left in complete shock, he never expected her to do that granted he almost did it with the latina's girlfriend and god did he want to do it again, but he wasn't about to do it on school grounds at least wait til they were both at home and alone. "Rachel, I'm okay she didn't break anything but my ego" he says kissing her quickly then pulling away looking at her to see if it was okay to do more.
Rachel listened to the boy when he kissed her she couldn't take it anymore, she kissed him back with more intesity their lips never leaving eachothers' their hands exploring eachother's body her hands in his hair, his hands in hers. It was like they never kissed a person in their lives and wanted to do everything possible until there was nothing left.