I was out hiking in the woods with a few friends of mine, when we all got lost and accidentally división, split up. Unfortunately, I got myself into the middle of the forest, and now I have NO idea how to get home.
For about an hora o so, I sat on a stump, praying that my friends would find a chopper and pick me up.
Pfft. Some friends I have.
Suddenly, a dark figure was walking toward me. She had beautiful, long black hair, and was wearing a falda that went over her knees--bad clothing for the forest.
I took my notepad out of my backpack and set it on my knees.

Me: You're Pocahontas, right?

Pocahontas: *nodding* Yes. Are tu lost?

Me: *sighing* Yes, but I don't want to waste time. Do tu mind if I interview you?

Pocahontas: *sitting down on the ground* Sure tu can.

Me: *flipping through notepad* From my research, I hear that tu like jumping off cliffs. Are tu suicidal?

Pocahontas: *gaping* No, never! I jump for the fun of it. I amor the wind in my hair!

Me: If tu hadn't gotten married, would tu consider being a daredevil?

Pocahontas: Well, my father won't allow it.

Me: *writing* Ooh, you're a daddy's girl, aren't you?

Pocahontas: Of course. I amor my father very much.

Me: *scoffs* I barely see mine.

Pocahontas: *clicking tongue* That's sad.

Me: Why did tu marry John Rolfe when it was JOHN SMITH whom tu fell in amor with?

Pocahontas: I guess things change.

Me: But why would tu leave a hot, blonde man that loves the thrill of adventure for a goody-two-shoes?

Pocahontas: It's hard to understand. Sometimes tu amor someone, but then tu meet someone else and amor them even MORE.

Me: *muttering* Glad I'm not in a relationship.

Pocahontas: tu don't believe in the power of love?

Me: No....

Pocahontas: *grabbing me por the shoulders and starts to shake me* Are tu MAD? There's nothing más powerful than LOVE!

Me: *screaming* WHY ARE tu SHAKING ME?!

Pocahontas: *letting go* Sorry, sometimes I go so overboard, I hardly notice.

Me: *glaring* Do the other princesses ever visit tu here?

Pocahontas: Well, the only one who's ever visited me here was Mulan, because she wanted to be in a peaceful place for her fighting.

Me: Are tu ever jealous of the other princesses because they have a house and tu don't?

Pocahontas: *shaking head* Nope. I'm perfectly happy right now.

Me: Wow. I can NOT be happy living out in the woods.

Pocahontas: *frowning* Why not? The forest is very beautiful.

Me: How could tu stand the oso, oso de droppings all around? And how tu don't have a bathroom? And what about those freaky demon squirrels who watch tu when tu sleep?

Pocahontas: tu watch too many scary movies, don't you?

Me: Yes, yes I do. Would tu ever agree if someone called tu a hippie?

Pocahontas: Well, yes, because hippies believe in peace and so do I.

Me: por far, you're the hippiest princess ever.

Pocahontas: Why, thank you.

Me: That wasn't a compliment.

Pocahontas: *starting to walk away* Good luck getting out of here.

Jeez, was it something that I said? These princesses need a reality check, like pronto.

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