Interviewer: "If tu could see the world in only shade of one color, what color would tu choose?"
Darren: "Pink. Cause it would be really funny. Cause really mean people wouldn't seem so mean anymore."
(At Deathly Hallows Premiere) Interviewer: "Here is Darren Criss! tu may have seen him recently."
Darren: "You have? *Looks around at posters* Oh my god! There's más of me!?"
(At Deathly Hallows Premiere) "There's been a terrible mistake. Someone really screwed up and let my nutty culo in here."
"So here's what happening to Blaine on Glee, he's recently been bitten por a radioactive.. uh... turtle. And I hang out with Rambo, and I mover to Mars and I start of colony of... crazy misfits. And I start a glee Club, the first intergalactic glee Club."
"There's not a damn thing that I do on my own that's not for my fans o for people that have supported me. So I don't really care about my agenda, I wanna be on yours."
(About Teenage Dream) "So Katy Perry tweeted about the song, dicho it made her cry. I hope it was like a good cry instead of a bad cry 'cause it was really bad o something."
Fan: "First of all, Darren, I think you're supermegafoxyawesomehot."
Darren: *laughs* "I wrote that line, so I know what you're referring to."
(About besar Kurt as Blaine at the Dublin mostrar on the glee tour) "I was consumed por my amor for Chris Colfer and I just couldn't help it any longer."
Interviewer: "Does Joey Richter have a girlfriend?"
Darren: "I would say yes, and her name's... Tarantulus. And she's nine feet tall, has a hundred arms and her eyes are made of lasers, and if any girl tried to destroy her they would perish."
Interviewer: "What does your song escritura process look like?"
Darren: "It looks like a mess! It's like someone went into a room, took a dump, then grabbed a blowtorch and sprayed it all over the wall."
"Buy my album because... it's the kind of música tu can be friends with. And it's the only way that *pause* aliens won't come to Earth and destroy us. I am sure of this."
Interviewer: "What can we except from tu in the siguiente five years?"
Darren: "Um, I will... get older. I will have, um..."
"Be nice people, cause nobody likes an asshole."
"I'm like a bum. I'm a bum. Oh my god, tu guys are interviewing a bum."
(Showing a picture of his old hair) "This is what I really look like. I really have big bushy hair, this *points to himself* THIS IS A LIE!"
"I had huge hair, I'm pretty sure there was certain species in there that could cure cancer."
"Guys, if tu hear any screaming girls... it's probably my dad."
"Nifty little buckaroo."
"I am Darren. I like beaches, sushi, and small animals."
(After having manzana, apple come out of his mouth) "If that's any indication that I like Aladdin... manzana, apple FREAKED out of my mouth."
"I like naranja and blue together, but I would never wear them."
(Talking about Zac Efron) "You were a Horcrux in a play I wrote!"
"People always ask me, is it creepy that I'm messaging you? And I'm like, no man! I'm the weird one. I played a fake Harry Potter in a musical we took time to make, that's weird man. We have a musical called Me And My Dick! We're weird."
"Did someone say Darren Criss?"
"What's this...? A guitar!?"
Interviewer: "I've listened to Teenage Dream at least 500,000 times."
Darren: "That's like a million something minutes!"
Interviewer: "Did tu ever think your life would change this quickly?"
Darren: "Nope! Simple as that. Nope!"
"Well with that attitude let's do it! Huzzah!"
"I would be the worst president in the history of the United States. Unless tu want the apocalypse to happen really soon then yes, I'll run for president."
"I have a degree in acting!"
"They can give me anything and I'll be like, "YAY A song!!!"
"That is a bad dryer! I don't want to see any of tu hanging out with that dryer!"
"Wars will stop if we just all sit down, have a sleepover and palomitas de maiz, palomitas de maíz and watch the entire thing of that show. (Avatar the Last Airbender) We would all get along and it would be beautiful."
"My name's Darren. I'm a musician, part time idiot. That's a full time job actually."
*posing with two girls for a photoshoot* "This would never happen."
"What was the question? Sorry, I was being an asshole."
"Am I a vegetable?"
"I'm Darren Criss, and I'm an acorn... actor."
"Man my boobies itch, I wish somebody would just hold my boobies."
Darren: "I actually almost parked in your parking spot once, then I realized it was yours and moved out of there. Sorry bout that."
Ellen: "Oh, well I didn't know and wouldn't mind."
Darren: "Oh, well I'll just write that down. Park in Ellen's spot."
Ellen: "Well, someone will tow it. But I don't mind."
Fan: "Hey Darren, would tu ever fecha a Very Potter Musical fan? And I was wondering if I could get a kiss..."
Darren: "Woah! At least take me out to cena first, we only just met. And all the cameras are here, the pressure's on. I never say never to anything, so tu never know. We'll see..."
(Talking about ducha, ducha de songs) "I'm using the soap! Now I'm using the shampooooo! Hand in the drain, really gross!"
Interviewer: "Ever have a recurring dream?"
Darren: "Yes, I'm always at a concierto where the band sounds exactly like my alarm clock."
(Talking about glee Project auditions) Robert Ulrich: We're looking for people with potential. So even if tu just sing in your shower.
Darren: That's actually the best place to sing. So bring that, into here! Just wear clothes!"
"My biggest fear... is turning *pause* into an inanimate object*
"The sunglasses are the secret to my power."
Interviewer: "Have tu tried going into a Gap since Silly amor Songs?"
Darren: "No... but I'd either be really excited o really terrified. Just don't sing Darren, you'll get everybody fired!"
"Chris Colfer... he's like a... playful wood-nymph."
Interviewer: "A lot of changes in your life lately."
Darren: "Yeah, I bought a new sweater."
"No one's tried to stab me. That's cool. I enjoy not being stabbed."
"Please don't kill me, I'm nice."
"They're just peachy, I think they're fabulous."
(About Teenage Dream) "She dicho it made her corazón go whee, well, guess what Katy? tu make my corazón go whee."
"The Kardashians have a book? What the fuck?"
(After Chord Overstreet pretend-strangles him) "Oh I know this guy, he's the good-looking one."
"I think if I met Dan my head would explode, so I think I'll avoid him cause I like my head not exploding."
"I think ears would bleed. So if tu see me bleeding out of my ears tu know I met Dan."
"Hah- ha- AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! But that translates to hola what's up man, Dan? Cool, whatever."
"I'm just a fanboy that got lucky."
If I wear oro shorts, can I look like you, Chord Overstreet? (pointless talking* And on that note, let's see your body.
"I'm not even supposed to be here, tu didn't see me... I am but a hologram."
"I'm kinda on nube nine, actually I'd say nube ten. nube nine was old news."
"I'm picturing all my albums lined up and being like, "What about me, Darren? tu always say tu amor me the most!" I add personality to all my inanimate objects."
"NO, no man!"
"Acting can be hard work... but tu just have to pull through it and sometimes tu have to kiss Lea Michele."
Darren: "There's cool songs coming."
Interviewer: "Anything tu can tell me?"
Darren: "Absolutely not."
"We finally did the episode that everyone was waiting for. A song por hola Monday!"
Interviewer: "I asked Chris what besar tu was like and he suggested I just go in and kiss you. But I'm going to spare tu that."
Darren: "Oh thank you. I appreciate your nobility. I'm not sure whether I'm offended o complimented."
"If the Warblers have to fight New Directions then SO BE IT! BRING IT ON!"
Interviewer: "Will tu chew a lot of gum before the besar scene?"
Darren: "No! Just cause tu asked. In fact I'm going to chew on... 20 cloves of garlic, then I won't brush my teeth for ten days. Just to make it special. Cause everybody chews gum."
Chris Colfer: "After the first kiss I was like "damn Darren!" I need a cigarette now, cause that was intense."
Darren (Upon hearing this): Th-Thanks Chris.
"He (Chris) never called me after the kiss. It was very embarrassing."
"Like many relationships... I think I'm just gonna... runaway."
"I went down to this girl's (that he was in amor with) house and I serenaded her. She came down, and we hugged! In 8th grade terms that's like, all kinds of amor explosions!"
"IT'S A DARREN SHOW! LET'S FUCKING ROCK! *screws up* oh no wait I got too confident. FUCK MUSIC!"
Interviewer: "Are tu dating anyone right now?"
Darren: "Oh I wouldn't tell tu even if I was..."
"I like to think they were all romantic. I'm not just some floozy! PLEASE!"
"Anti-gravity glee numbers! That's like everything I could ever want!"
"Glee... IN SPACE!"
"Glee is más then just a mostrar now. It's become a wonderful culture celebrating the underdog and glorifying individuality."
(Combining three of his glee songs. hola Soul Sister, Teenage Dream and Raise Your Glass) "Hey... Teenage... Glass?"
"Where are my perverts!?"
"I wish I had a pet monkey."
"I ain't telling tu shit son!"
(Singing to Ellen): "When are we gonna see... Finding Nemo 2? They did it with Toy Story and Cars. So why not something new? A new story about Dory. I hope your buying what I'm selling, I know it ain't my choice... I just wanna hear the voice of my girl, Ellen!"
"I want people to know that there is nothing más badass than being yourself."
