Every Guy Should Be Like This! Siriusly! 

"1. Be inhumanly attractive
4. Have an amazing body
5. Be incredibly wealthy
11. Be really smart
12. Good taste in music"
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THESE I agree with. :P


"16. To be able to enter your room without anyone noticing
28. Sparkle in the sunlight"
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LMFAO!


"27. Be jealous of your guys friends ( Jacob, Mike, etc... )"
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SERIOUSLY?! Clearly this girl has never had a boyfriend, let alone a super annoying jealous one.

THANK YOU for this! I lol'd muchly.

I know you're wondering why the hell I'm on the Twilight spot, being an anti and all. Well, I believe in total immersion, so that when I insult Twilight or the stereotypical fans it's produced, I'm completely accurate. I want to know what I'm talking about, so I'm not being the stereotypical anti. Of course I can't help but comment on some things; some of it's just too riddikulus. But I just give my opinion. You could call it 'light trolling,' if you would.

But here's something I just had to share with you all. Please comment (on here, but there's cool too XD), I'd like to hear your take on this. Naturally I put forth my opinion here.

Again, as I've said before, I love Twilighters. When I speak ill of Twilight, I apologize to the Twilighters, and if I speak ill of its fans, I'm only talking about Twihards. I love Twilighters, not Twihards, and that's the stereotypical fan I'm always bitching about. Just make sure you can get the difference. :)

P.S. If the link above gives you trouble, here's the link:
link

Oh what a roller coaster of emotions. It's funny...no wait, it's depressing...actually it's annoying...no, no it's definitely funny.

I notice I didn't see anything like 'have things in common with me' or 'good sense of humour'.
And, if you take some of them out of order (and slightly out of context) you can totally turn it into the story of a murderer boyfriend:

"Be jealous of your guys friends ( Jacob, Mike, etc..."
"To be able to enter your room without anyone noticing"
"Kiss you in the middle of a fight"
"Hold your face while he kisses you"
"Be inhumanly strong"
"Drive 200 km/h"...

...to the place where he will dump your body after sneaking into your room unnoticed, holding you down while kissing you against your will, killing you for having male friends and driving to a deserted woods. Seriously, how does that story not end in a killing?

I love how some of them are literally not possible, like be 'inhumanely' strong and read minds. Having high standards is one thing, something I can totally support, but wanting things that are actually not possible? I'm starting to think this whole Twilight thing was a ploy by Stephenie Meyer to raise girls standards so high they could never procreate as a way to help with overpopulation. Or a scam so most of the men who actually exist will be left for her. I'm on to you, Meyer.

>xD Asvini, you destroy me<3

Asvini, you're great!

Let's see, my answers:

1. yeah, right, to attact a myriad of dazzled girls wherever we go. Thanks, but no, thanks!
2. I know what it feels like to be on a car at 194 km/h when the road limit is 120. Not nice, believe me.
3. Does this mean I want my life in jeopardy so that he can save me?
4. Not bad, but I prefer an amazing mind.
5. Not bad, not compulsory. Average is fine.
6. Too much? I'm not a china doll, thanks.
7. Just like the songs says "that flexible, silent gait that reminds me of a cat's"? Nice, but unimportant.
8. Strength is not important, what matters is what you can do with it.
9. Depends on the hidden intentions behind it.
10. A pedantic asshole? Eww! Although being educated and articulate is cool.
11. Nice, not compulsory. I can do without that "really".
12. Define "good taste". According to canons, mine isn't.
13. Sounds fine, but smelling just nice is fine as well.
14. If he appears out of nowhere, I'll probably freak out.
15. Not bad at all. I like it.
16. No way in hell!
17. See point 3.
18. Looking is not forbidden, touching is.
19. This one's just creepy. No superpowers, please?
20. You forgot the e. See point 20. Plus, isn't Shakespeare the most quoted author among English native speakers?
21. See point 3 again.
22. I'd rather he gave me a hug.
23. While I age? No way!
24. But of course. Just have in mind that morals =/= being a prude
25. Nice, but considering the rest of points, this is a bit hypocritical.
26. Really nice, not compulsory. Besides, "charming" is quite a vague term.
27. No, thanks. Jealous machos make me barf, they're trouble.
28. When I want that, I'll go to the gay pride parade, thank you.
29. And then I'll have to pretend I love it even if it's as lame as "roses are red..."? Only if he can write any better than SMeyer.
30. Does this mean I'm not the one and he's waiting for her to come while he's with me? I'm confused!
31. Nope. I'd rather skip the awkward first time, thanks.
32. Sweet nothing is really cool, but not compulsory and only in certain situations.
33. I'd rather stay human, seeing the ones I love die can be kinda depressing. Also, doesn't point 15 imply I am already beautiful?
34. This is creepy. I'd want him to have a life of his own, not to steal mine.
35. Yep, a must. Too bad Edward is not.
36. Really nice. Just one thing: nice =/= suffocating. Free will and stuff.
37. I'll grab my trombone and we'll play jazz together! Nice, not a must.
38. Nope. He should know better than to kiss me when I'm pissed off.
39. That would make me feel worthless. No, thanks!
40. Really nice, but not only behind my back.
41. Ewww, no! I don't like pedos, and not only because that word means "fart" in Spanish.
42. Not every single time he kisses me, that's a way to say "you belong to me". I'd rather he belonged *with* me.
43. That's creepy and watching me sleep is boring, believe me.
44. Brutal honesty? Like in "actually, you make the dress look fat"? Heck, no!
45. Really nice, not a must.
46. Really nice, not a must.
47. I'm not that into cars, I just want them to be safe and comfortable.
48. I have two great legs to walk around, thanks.
49. I can only think of a few contexts in which this doesn't sound horribly corny.
50. Spending a human life by my side will do, I don't plan on living any longer.

I stand by my comment I put there ages ago:

'Agree on most but since when has being jealous of your guy friends been a good thing? Jealousy is a horrible trait. :)'

Why the flippin heck would you want a jealous boyfriend?! Use your brain, people.

OMG they think its attractive for a guy to sparkle

7. Have an elegant way of walking: ...This sounds wrong to me?...
16. To be able to enter your room without anyone noticing: Sounds a bit scary - what if you were doing something?!
20. Quote Romeo ( Shakespear ): I would just lol.
27. Be jealous of your guy friends ( Jacob, Mike, etc... ): I have had this problem. It. Sucks. Annoying. Big time.
28. Sparkle in the sunlight: o_O ..................
37. Play the piano: I'd rather he played the guitar.
41. Have been pretty much single since 1901: Ummmmm.............
42. Hold your face while he kisses you: I hate having my face or head held

41. Have been pretty much single since 1901

So the Twihards are looking for the elderly?

I love Twilighters-some of my best friends are Twilighters-but the Twihards are pretty much awful...

The list made me lol and the original comments (in the Twilight spot, not here) made me lol until I couldn't anymore.

One good trait of the stereotypical Twihard: They're 'serious' comments make me laugh.

43. Doesn't sleep at night, stays by your side taking care of you

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT. INSTEAD OF SLEEPING. OMG. AHAHAHAHAHA. That's so hilarious ^_^ The only one I agree is necessary is:

24. Have morals.