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posted by fairfarren
 what i felt when i first met tu
what i felt when i first met you
'sup girl. i don't even know how to start this o what to say but i'm a writer so imma wing it. there's like a galaxy worth of stuff i could say but then again it's like i can only grasp a constellation worth when i'm grasping. it's strange, sitting down and pouring out your corazón and soul. it makes tu vulnerable and open to the world in a weird way, but tu know everything about me anyway so it's not like it matters. anyway. so. when we met. hmm. that nostalgia man. i've already told tu like a million times how i sat in my laundry room trying to get wifi to talk to you. it's a special memory for me, how there was always something in me that reached out to tu even though tu were no más than a stranger to me, no más than a passing wanderer in life. and yet, something drew me to you, something i still can't pinpoint even to this day. but as we talked, we got closer and i tried to treasure every second. there have been times where i have been a horrible person, a horrible friend and i have mistreated tu and taken advantage of you. and there have been some horrible falling outs between us, in which i do not look upon often, but when i do, it's with a sorrowful countenance (excuse your resident literature buff lmao). but the point is, tu have always accepted me. accepted all sides of me. without question. and i appreciate that más than tu know. that kind of loyalty and understanding cannot be earned o gained o bought. somehow i was lucky enough to meet you, to meet such a kind, honest person. and i have tried to accept each side of tu as well and i hope i have done a good job. if i achieve nothing else in life, i will have wanted to be a good friend. if, before tu die, i am that to tu then my life will have been worth living.
i amor you. i amor the angry rachel, the passionate rachel, the procrastinating rachel, the sweet rachel, the clingy rachel, the hilarious rachel, the deep rachel, the sad rachel. i amor them all. por now you're probably tired of lectura your name haha sorry. but i just want tu to know that. i amor the sides i can't fathom, the sides i've forgotten, the sides i've not mentioned. i even amor the sides that irritate me, that annoy me. i even amor the sides i hate. don't ask me how o why but i just do. and i always will. if tu ever need me for anything, i am por your side. tu are eternally stuck with me. thank tu for blessing me with your life, your presence, your soul. thank tu for giving me this connection i can never replace, return, o trade.
we've been together four years. for years. that's crazy. years. touching someone's life so much they want to talk to tu everyday, they're interested in every aspect of your life, they are your best friend. it feels like a century. it feels like a moment. i wouldn't have believed someone if they told me i would be this close to you, that tu would mean this much to me. but now i can't imagine a world without you. fate o god o whatever, they were fucking smart to pull us together. we need each other. we build each other up when we're torn down. we wouldn't be here without each other. it's so weird to look upon. as an outsider, i don't think i could understand our friendship. it is a singular one. it is one in a hundred million. it's special. it's special to me, it's special in general. damn. how. i amor our crazy (THREE HOUR?!?!) conversations, how we can go from disney princesses to the crevices of our soul, how we can tell each other everything, how we can talk about everything. not everyone can do that. not everyone can have that. i am so fucking lucky, i swear to god. thank you.
i amor you. those three words are so simple and yet hold so much. tu are everything to me. i amor you, my moon. and i will always be your sun.

"what do tu see, when tu look at me?
don't cover my scars, let them bleed
tell me, is this how it's supposed to be?
well then, i'm so, i'm so happy.
we don't need rehab."


lmao i got one oro for this aMaZiNg article? i do amor you, azada :p
 you've always seen the best x
you've always seen the best x
 maybe i'll have to get this if tu don't want one gAh #firstworldproblems
maybe i'll have to get this if you don't want one gAh #firstworldproblems
 ma gunna lova (idek tryna be a rapper)
ma gunna lova (idek tryna be a rapper)
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